Hormones And Sex
Along with good communication to create intimacy a couple needs to have sex. However this act which was once so pleasurable, loving, and made you feel connected, is one of the first ways that a couple starts withdrawing until it fades away, often times for years.
The reasons that couples engage in sexual intimacy less often or hardly ever are well documented. These reasons include tiredness, stress, ill health and being angry or resentful of your partner. Hormones however, also play a very significant part in the sex issue.
Oxytocin is a hormone that women need both to have and to enjoy sex. In fact it gives women a feeling of satisfaction. Optimal levels of oxytocin for a woman actually result in lowering her stress level and as a result give her more energy and the ability to climax or feel sexually satisfied after sex.
One way to increase a womans oxytocin level is to engage in sex, because oxytocin is produced by sexual arousal and orgasm. Talking about problems to a woman without being defensive or providing a solution can also help in the elevation of oxytocin levels. Most women who have sought counseling for sexual related problems have one thing in common… they don’t feel loved by their partner.
Research points to what experts in the field of relationships have come to understand about women and men and the different ways that each sex feels with regard to what makes a woman feel she is loved by a man and to what exactly makes a man feel that he is loved by a woman.
A woman mostly feels loved when a man covers three areas for her.
Firstly he must do chores that help her, such as cooking a meal for her, putting the rubbish out, keeping the garden clean. These chores should be done without her nagging or asking her partner over and over or else the opposite effect eventuates and in her mind he has again proved to her that indeed he does not love her.
Secondly he must give her gifts, not because she is materialistic but because it is in women’s nature as far back as the primitive man to be looked after by a man, 2000 years ago the primitive man bought back to the cave the kill , today we are a bit more sophisticated and require ornaments or flowers or perfume.
Thirdly a woman needs time with her man when he gives her undivided attention and tells her how beautiful she is and that he loves her.
A man generally feels that his partner loves him when she touches him , when she desires to have sexual intimacy with him generated by her, and when she is affectionate and gentle toward him.
Moreover a man needs words from his partner that are intended to underline appreciation and endearment, and words which make him feel special.
Without feeling loved first a couple will not feel committed to the relationship and will sooner or later start believing that they are no longer in love with who they are with. Hormones are very important to sex and these hormones are made when a person feels that they are loved.